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quarta-feira, setembro 05, 2012

My current lovely thoughts


Sometimes i care, sometimes i don't.
Most of the times they don't get me to care. Just because. Most of the times they don't care, or they don't have the time to care, or they don't even get or give the chance (to me, or themselves) to care. Sometimes i like to think, to imagine they care, they might, they will, sometimes i prefer to think not. My ideal: not to think about it, at all. And what’s left of life without thought? A stone and a pillow.

Sometimes it's easy, sometimes it's plain realism. Sometimes it's cruel. Sometimes i'm needy, sometimes i'm the opposite. Sometimes i feel for someone, sometimes i feel like i don't. Sometimes i overanalyze. It's amazing how good it hurts, living inside a body and soul, and my mind, I just direct it into it. Sometimes it's easy, sometimes I try to force it, and break myself. Sometimes it’s so easy to fall in love, sometimes it's just not worth it. Sometimes it’s easy, as it comes, as it goes, as it may or may not come back. That strangest state of mind, that altered state of perception. And it happens in a lot of different ways too. Simple things are to be complicated or perhaps, known for being, really, complicated. Complex things should be turned to as simple as possible. There’s always a flow to it, when everything is always mutating. We die living. Love will never be enough, it's a drug, and it's strange, and a reason, but it sure ain't all what people need, or all that's required for a "good" (loving kind) relationship between people.
Sometimes it's more than a feeling, and sometimes it's not the person itself.
Sometimes i shove it into a box, sometimes i open it and i find something (just) different there.
Or something already gone. Sometimes it gets hard, and then, a relief, and then, "just funny", and how 'it's the little things' that... you know.
Sometimes i'm happy. It's just the way things are.
And sometimes, you fucker(s), i try to seduce you. And even though (i know) i'm not good enough, i still try. Sometimes i love to fail. I'm used to it, too.

"Baby, i don't care". Now i fade. Sometimes i just give it up.
Now i know. I think i know, and then... i get the idea.
And yes, for what it's worth, for whom it may concern or interest, i can be quite an anti-sentimental sentimental. Dealing with that it's a painful job (for me). Just another fool. And i like it that way.

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